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post #81 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 05:30 PM
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Originally Posted by ltrhdevo View Post
Hell it was her that talked me into getting a tat{Harley Eagle} that we both got. When we first met She saw a Harley as a American family hard a$$ dont mess with. I'd miss her more then any dam thing, so no dought what ride I'd keep.
She has been so much fun on rides toghther, bitching, kicking,filping, slapping the back of my helmet, go get thet sob when people cut us off when riding. She has been a waitress {server} for almost 40yrs, mostly at biker friendly bars where the wings are hot and the beer is cold. We have been selfish for the most part and dont ride well with others
after reeding all the post one thing for sure, at lest for me, its and extra blessing to share riding a Harley with your other half .
Great post, devo. Sometimes I wish my OL would fall in love with it. She hasn't been on my back since the early 90's. I was a young idiot back then and I think I spooked her a little. Right now, I enjoy the solitude, but it does limit how much I can ride since we have two small boys.

The slap on the back of the helmet and the "go get them" after being cut off sounds special, man. Glad you're counting those blessings.

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post #82 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 05:37 PM
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I told my wife 32 years ago when we married that if I had to choose between the bike or her, well... I'm still ridin', and she is still along for the ride.

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post #83 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-06-2012, 06:05 PM
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If you can do it,$, then buy all means, do it and enjoy many years of riding. I picked up a part time job to pay for the bike and the expences that follow; property tax,insurance, gas, and maintenance.
I did not want the bike to effect my retirement income and other responsibilities.
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post #84 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 10:02 AM
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My wifey is a stay at home mom so I pay 100% of all the bills. If it's my responsability to earn the money and manage our family then I should have big enough britches to make a decision on making a large purchase. I do consider her thoughts on anything I do but at the end of the day, I am an adult, it's my life too, and if I want something and can "afford" it, then I will have it. I only get one life to live and enjoy and I'm not about to let another person tell me how to live my life.

The wifey loves Harleys so it was not really a discussion at all, she was all for it. I bought a boat about a month or so before I bought my Harley. That wasn't a discussion either. My wife fully understands I work hard for our family and deserve a little of the good life too.

My advice to you is to do the numbers and see if you can afford the bike without putting your family 2nd place and if so, then by all means explain to your wifey that it is your life too and that you deserve to live it to it's fullest. Just because she doesn't agree does not mean you have to listen. And if she wants to divorce you because you're just trying to enjoy your life, she's not the right one to be with anyways... Husbands and wives don't hold each other back from life dreams, they encourage them.. That is a true partnership IMO!

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post #85 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 11:53 AM
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My wife was dead against it. In fact, I vastly underestimated just how angry and emotional her response would be when I first told her I was considering it. It really pissed her off in a way that's hard to explain, and she barely spoke to me for weeks. Even after I told her I had given up the idea, it was still a sore point for a long time.

A month or two went by and I 'liked' HD on Facebook. She spotted it and it was almost as if she caught me cheating or something. She was really angry and hurt, and was clearly treating me as if I had genuinely done something wrong.

Now I could have gotten angry or defensive and told her I'm going to do what I damn well please, but that would have been a very bad idea which would only have made the whole situation worse. So I was honest with her, but I also respect her opinions and judgement. So I shelved the idea and went back to other pursuits.

Then one day out of nowhere she comes to me and says I ought to buy a motorcycle if that's what I really want. Just like that.

It took a long time for this to happen and I didn't bring the issue up during that whole period, not even once. I told her I had given up the idea and I was prepared to do exactly that. I let her make up her own mind and, slowly, she eventually concluded it was okay as long as I was safe about it. That process took about a year.

My wife is smart and I treat her with the respect she deserves, which is a policy that has served me well over the years. If I had tried to force the issue right from the start and been confrontational about it, well, it could have ended really badly. On the inside I was frustrated, but my advice to anyone in this situation is to listen to your head, not your heart, and to be patient.
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post #86 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 12:56 PM
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Originally Posted by phx11 View Post
In my case, I make 3x-4x what my wife makes and I pay all our expenses, other than gas for her car (unless she uses the gas card I gave her) and her cell phone. The money she makes is hers to spend however she wants. Since I'm footing the bill for practically everything. She couldn't say too much when I went out and bought a new Harley.

Like you, I was the bread-winner sort-to-speak and through the years I paid all of our expenses, home, vehicles, campers, boats, kids-college educations, etc. Her income was for her and vacations that we would take as a family. Through the years we had 5 touring motorcycles made by Honda which she loved to ride on with me. I had the H-D Ultra-Classic on my bucket list. I shared with her that my bucket list was getting smaller and the H-D Ultra-Classic was coming up and she said go get it, but keep the other brand touring bike because that's the one she will ride on with me. So be it, although she did try the U-C a few times, but when we ride 2-up it's the other touring bike she prefers. I do enjoy riding the Ultra-Classic 1-up.

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post #87 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-07-2012, 08:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Dave63 View Post
Easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission.......

Financial, when married, is always a consideration. My wife would never come home with a $250 month expense, without asking me.

There's no stratagy, IMHO, other than being honest and up front.

I had many bikes before this one, so it was kind of a replacement of sorts.

There's been more bikes in my garage in the last 10 years, that it;s hard to keep track of what's mine, ours, his, theirs or just being fixed.

I guess that's an advantage.
That's pretty much the way it was for me too...replacement. I told her my plans so she woulgn't get blindsided when she saw a new bike in the garage.
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post #88 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-08-2012, 12:35 AM
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then she said only if you want ta get shot

i just brought it home on a "loan" from a friend, put her ass on the back and took a 3 hr spin around the lake. when we got home i told her i should take it back to my buddies shop (it was for sale there) before he closes, then she said "only if you want ta get shot". that night she dug up the silver and weighed it up, the next day i traded it for chrome .......
that was 16,000 miles ago
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post #89 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-08-2012, 06:20 AM
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Buy one, maybe.

I would just say, be sure she is onboard. Ten years ago when the kids had grown up and were no longer playing baseball, I suggested buyng a Harley so we would have something to do with each other. The wife was ok with it, so we got one. She later decided she didn't like riding. She had always wanted to learn to play tennis. Like a good husband I went to the tennis store and got her everything she needed to learn to play tennis. Well she then developed friends on the tennis court and I developed mine on the road. We didn't see much of each other after that and ended up getting a divorce. We are still friends and get along very well. Things were a bit tense prior to the Harley. The crazy thing is that her boyfriend (who is a great guy) which did not have a Harley when they met, has now purchased a Harley. She now rides with him and has started drinking beer, which she never did before. I really am happy for her, she deserves all the good things in life. My new wife is all about anything that makes noise and goes fast (except my Yamaha R6, which is now been sold). The funny thing is that she didn't like riding the R6 because she said her knees were pinned against her head and as partial as she is about having her knees pinned against her head This sounded like a weird complaint, I guess it's just not the same. She was into racing and was a dragster driver in a previous marriage. So buying anything Harley including a new bike is ok with her. Just remember to be sure she is completely on board with whole Harley thing. I might even suggest driving to a couple of rallys so she experience the whole situation prior to the purchase. The people you meet are a huge part of riding a Harley. I can't see how anyone could deny that.

Just my experience and .02 worth.
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post #90 of 116 (permalink) Old 11-08-2012, 06:44 AM Thread Starter
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The people you meet are a huge part of riding a Harley. I can't see how anyone could deny that.
I have found this to be true with many hobbies/sports/activities.

Amateur Radio
Computers and programming
Train modeling
Airplane modeling

Every one of those has a big community around it with forums, email lists, etc. And the people you meet is half (sometimes more) the fun.

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