A DC airport ticket agent-must read!

[scol]

This is priceless funny stuff; or maybe not.
God Bless America !

A DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble:



1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that

her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted
to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,
and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid,
but Capetown is in Massachusetts....''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa ''

his response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package
we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an
ocean-view room. I tried t o explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas.
I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he
wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between
gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand
the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage
that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was
just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked,
''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823,
but none of these planes have that number on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, Florida.
Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu, La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed
in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she
needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said,
''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York.''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS,
AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED..

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.

[Kainam]

Originally Posted by scol

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from
Chicago to Rhino, New York.''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code
in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

Yes, My mom!

The other day she was telling me that she wanted to buy a VCR.
She has no VCR tapes to watch so I asked her why she would want a VCR?

She says to watch tapes of movies. I tell her nobodys made tapes for like 20 years!

Then she gets pissed off at me cause I can't figure out what she means!

The list is endless of similar "conversations" with her..... sometimes it's best to smile and nod.

[scol]

Is it possible we are brothers?

[Rockerbox1]

geepers.... and these people get voted for, so what's that say about the people who vote for them

[V-Girl]

My favorite: ZOOM ZOOM!!!!

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it
was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn't understand
the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

[Kainam]

Originally Posted by scol

Is it possible we are brothers?

Very possible!

Let's see.... She is in the market for a new vehicle, so being the exemplary son that I am , I help her out with going through all the options, go with her to look at colors and models, email several dealers to obtain the best price etc....

So she tells me a few dealers call and quoted her a price.... so, I ask her what options did those quotes include?

"Well I think it was for such and such...."

So, I write out all the options for her for when dealers decide to call, she knows what to ask for when asking for a quote.

Turns out that a saleswoman for the dealer local to us quotes us a fair price for the options that were picked out.

So you'd think it's a pretty well done deal right?

Nope!

She goes to the same dealer, but talks to someone else.... and that someone else quotes her a price $6k higher than what I already got for her by email! The price was actually higher than sticker!!!

You'd think by this point she would have given the vehicle in question a test drive?

NOPE!!!



She's the one with a multitude of clocks in her house, only half of which are set on the correct time depending on what part of the year it is!

Nevermind the VCR, it blinks 12:00 all year round!

[scol]

Thats funny, reminds of the time when I came home from the service, I was looking for a car to buy. My mother found a Ford XL in the paper. She called to me, Bob I found an extra large Ford for you.

[craiger]

Originally Posted by scol

Thats funny, reminds of the time when I came home from the service, I was looking for a car to buy. My mother found a Ford XL in the paper. She called to me, Bob I found an extra large Ford for you.

Funny, i new a guy in high school that thought his Mercury Monarch LE wuz a Long Edition..... measured it and everything to prove how dumb he was.....

[V-Girl]

LT stands for lettuce an tomato right?

[Kainam]

What? No Bacon?