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Funny motorcycle related stories

35K views 84 replies 33 participants last post by  priell3 
#1 ·
I know there are plenty of funny stories and happening here, hope it's not redundantly repetitive. I don't usually use words like that
:nerd

But after hearing a few friends talk about funny things happening while riding, I thought I'd give it a go on here?

I have a few, probably not really that funny but I'll start with one from early on, round when I was fifteen.

I've had a few minibikes and small cc dirtbikes as a kid. But when I was fifteen some college kid sold me a penton 250cc dirtbike for nearly nothing (needed some small stuff) and I thought it was the baddest arse thing on the planet.

My little brother was almost afraid of it, he knew from the size and sound it was more than my other bikes, even though he was five years old and half crazy himself. LOL

One day out in the country where we would ride , he said he wanted to go for a ride on it, he seemed somewhat nervous.

He had ridden with me plenty of time, he would sit in front of me and grip the crossbar on the motocross handlebars.

I start out nice and slow in first gear, he asks me if I'm in the fastest gear? I said no, He screams GO FASTER! So I go to 2nd gear and cruising right along, He asks again are we in the fastest gear? I said nope He screams GO FASTER! so I go to 3rd and get going right along and again he asks,
Are we in the fastest gear? I say no, He screams GO FASTER! 4th gear same thing

This goes on for ever gear, I might be wrong but I think it was a six speeds? seems like it was? because I remember thinking at the time all others I have had were only five speeds? who knows

So I'm in the highest gear moving along a straight stretch of a dirt road and he asks "are we in the fastest gear? and I say "yes"

He screams ...SLOW DOWN!

Not sure why but that has always seemed funny

The time I gave a hitchhiking gal a ride will come later:ride not whatcha think.
 
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#35 ·
I had a Kawasaki Z1 in 1974.
It had a Yosh. Exhaust system. 4 into 1.
I had decided to pull the baffle and removed the rivit but the baffle still didn't want to come out.
So I took it for a ride
I was heading down a street and some yoyo in a Corvette decided to keep running up on me then back off when he was 8 feet or so off my ass.
The road went down a train overpass that was both dark and steep.
With the Corvette on my ass I turned off the kill switch and kept the throttle partially open and in gear.
At the darkest portion I switched the kill switch on with the throttle open, the Bang and Flame as well as the baffle bouncing off his windshield probably made him shit himself as he sure did a nose dive on the brakes.
Yep I did have to replace the baffle as it was just too damn loud in town.


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#36 ·
I had a Kawasaki Z1 in 1974.
It had a Yosh. Exhaust system. 4 into 1.
I had decided to pull the baffle and removed the rivit but the baffle still didn't want to come out.
So I took it for a ride
I was heading down a street and some yoyo in a Corvette decided to keep running up on me then back off when he was 8 feet or so off my ass.
The road went down a train overpass that was both dark and steep.
With the Corvette on my ass I turned off the kill switch and kept the throttle partially open and in gear.
At the darkest portion I switched the kill switch on with the throttle open, the Bang and Flame as well as the baffle bouncing off his windshield probably made him shit himself as he sure did a nose dive on the brakes.
Yep I did have to replace the baffle as it was just too damn loud in town.
I had a old early 70's something ford pick up in 82, Three on the tree LOL I would leave it in 2nd gear turn key off and back on ..it would it would make a h3ll of a bang. one day the muffler blew up LOL
 
#37 ·
Me and another friend back in 1970 rode Honda 350's to the Blue Ridge Mountains in NC and TN. I was young as hell but still that far on a small motorcycle will take its toll, probaby 400+ miles. My buddy was a little bit crazy, ended up committing suicide a year later. He would stand up on the seat of the Honda 350 and ride till it started to wobble ( no cruise control) and then sit back down. Pass cars in a curve with double yellow line and car coming... stayed in the middle between the 2 cars. Of course I had to follow as best I could. Lucky to be here 50 years later.
 
#38 ·
I had a friend in 1981 bet me $100 that I couldn't ride a Kawasaki 90 from Oklahoma City to Biloxi, MS. So I took the bet. It was a miserable ride, but $100 in beer money for a 20 something year old was big motivation.

It wasn't long until I figured out this was going to be a long trip. It ended up being around 800 miles in 3 days and about half of that in the rain with no rain gear. I had a backpack with a couple of changes of clothes, a sleeping bag and stupidity to keep me going.

The first night it wasn't raining so pulled off the side of the road somewhere in a roadside park and crashed for the night. I woke up in the morning to raccoon stealing a bag of chips I had. The second night in the rain was no fun at all. I stopped somewhere and got a cheap tarp and put it over a picnic table and tried to sleep under it.

On the third day I finally made it to Biloxi, met the guy who bet me, and collected the money. After a hot shower and not wanting to see that damned bike again, I think he and I drank most of that $100, and I took a bus back to OKC, hungover, tired and sore.

Still not sure I've learned not to take on stupid bets, but most make for some good stories later on.
 
#39 ·
On the third day I finally made it to Biloxi, met the guy who bet me, and collected the money. After a hot shower and not wanting to see that damned bike again,
Damn! thought for sure you would have found some sweet young thing to work your stiffness out all night
 
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#43 ·
my dad used to tell me about a guy that he knew back in the 60s, 70s. the guy had a raked out knuckle head chopper. after a few drinks he'd head out, having a hard time backing it up and getting her started. starting out he fell on his right side, got up and started out again. fell on his left side, got up and started out again, wobble wobble and off he'd go lol.
 
#45 ·
A 13 year old kid thought he'd jump his first motorcycle, a 90cc Honda C200. Said kid's bike hit the ground while said kid's entire body was in the air, hands with a death grip on the bars. Said kid landed hard, recently descended testicles upon the steel tank first. Said sad kid didn't know why, but dropped his bike, stood up in agony, unzipped his fly, coundn't fight the urge to empty his bladder on the trail. Said kid never did that again. But managed to have children later in life. :)

Would have been a funny sight for some, but not for me.
 
#48 ·
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Might be a useful service in there somewhere. :sneaky:

Seems legitimate.
 
#51 ·
Well I just realized looking at my finished instrumentation, I backed up and comedically said ”Now thats instrumentation Bat Man would love to have”. then I realized. I've inadvertently created what very well could be a kind of original Bat Cycle replica out of my Sportster. I've posted this before asking opinions in whether I should stripe it which I did but even then I didn't realize it, and no one told me..maybe I'm over exaggerating here, or I've burnt up too may brain cells but I've been riding this thing around and I'm just now realizing it
..lmao
799361
799362
 
#52 ·
Well I just realized looking at my finished instrumentation, I backed up and comedically said ”Now thats instrumentation Bat Man would love to have”. then I realized. I've inadvertently created what very well could be a kind of original Bat Cycle replica out of my Sportster. I've posted this before asking opinions in whether I should stripe it which I did but even then I didn't realize it, and no one told me..maybe I'm over exaggerating here, or I've burnt up too may brain cells but I've been riding this thing around and I'm just now realizing it
..lmao View attachment 799361 View attachment 799362
Here is a link to the original, IMHO, Your Sporty looks much better! (y)
 
#55 ·
Only need speedo and a tach. Might add oil pressure gauge. Or just a Tach and oil pressure garage.
 
#60 ·
Especially when they see the fully automatic airsoft guns (if I can find small enough, maybe mach 10s) and sound Lazer I'll be installing. Trying to find a decent programmable voice module for my alarm and camera system now. Thinking of using 1x3 flat screen tv speakers for a subdued stereo, and oh look what I found; where to mount this?
Electronic instrument Camera accessory Home appliance Font Gas
 
#61 ·
Wheel Tire Fuel tank Automotive fuel system Automotive lighting
Tire Fuel tank Wheel Automotive fuel system Automotive lighting
Land vehicle Vehicle Motorcycle Automotive lighting Automotive tire
just a little wiring left to do. Make another sheet metal cap for the triple trees, then to work on a custom stereo inside the cafe. Thanks for y'all's likes. It's definitely been a labor of love despite spending all the time hunched over it with a fractured spine. Btw; I rode a late model CBR to O'Reilly for more paint today.. Fine machine but; I'm too old to bed my legs in that direction anymore and if I want my balls busted I'll move back in with my ex..that seating position put my boys in the cracker. Still feeling it....out
 
#63 ·
^^^^^ Get a girlfriend for the boys, massage therapy
[/QUO
^^^^^ Get a girlfriend for the boys, massage therapy
A girlfriend would be nice. I just woke up, my back is commanding me not to move, and my hotel room looks like the aftermath of a bike builder's party again. Time to get to work I reckon.
 
#67 ·
Was riding to work in the 70s and a cop in rat city pulled me over for doing a California stop at 7am on a Saturday morning.
He asked why my 1969 Bonneville had a 1975 tail light on it. Well I told him that a lady rear ended me and broke the 3 inch round taillight, so I went to Bent Bike wrecking yard and bought the bigger 8x5 inch 75 rear fender so women could see me.
He thought that was really using my noodle to be safe. He let me off with a warning and off I went.
Cops dont know bikes...
Not very funny until you realize it was a 1975 Bonnie with a 1969 title. :-O
 
#68 ·
As I was leaving church a few weeks ago, a couple in their 80s that I know see me getting ready to ride home. The woman had the sun in her eyes and asks, "Mike, is that you?" Then she said I didn't know you rode a motorcycle. She then goes on to say, "I have a little secret. I used to ride too!"

It was something she had wanted to do and she did it for several years.
 
#69 ·
Today our new parish priest noticed my H-D t-shirt and struck up a conversation. He told me he was the chaplain for a group of riders and he himself owned a V-Rod. He has been to rallies in 48 states, Sturgis and Laconia. Always rode, never trailered. He sold the bike but still has all of his gear. I invited him to ride sometime.
 
#70 ·
I was going to Northeastern Univ in Boston (early 80's), 1st year & had to drop off a check at the Bursars office, no idea where it was
Ask & they tell me down the hall take the stairs up & it's right in front of you
I'm wearing my old flight jacket leather (very bulky) w/the fake fur collar & carrying my helmet
Up the stairs I go & sure enough its right in front of me & a person is just finishing paying & steps away
I step up the Window & the girl really looks kinda scared - I am only 5' 9" not scary looking
Ask if this is where I pay my tuition...Yes...I hand over my check...she enters it & gives me a receipt
Still looking like she would run away if given the chance...Am I all set ? Yes
So I turn to go back down the stairs
And there to the left stretching way down the hallway are other students, all waiting in line to pay their bill
As I turned & looked up seems everyone has something else to look at, no one said a word
Down the stairs & off I went

Not the 1st time something like that happened
In a grocery store, same jacket, leaning down slightly to grab something off the shelf
And out of the corner of my eye I see movement
I see the lady a few feet away slowly pull/push her child to the other side, away from me 😂
 
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