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Wayward Son
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23,216 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
I know it has been mentioned here before.

Have always tried to never hate anyone. Be it animal, vegetable, or mineral.
Individual, or group.
Was not raised that way. IMO, hate is a harmful gut eating emotion. More so for the hater then the hated.

However. There are always exceptions.
While I have not quit worked up to the big "H". I am quickly developing an extreme "dislike" for lawyers. Most used car salesmen. And 1 x-wife in particular .

Maybe it is the environment. Residential vs. rural.
Big city folk always looking to get over on someone else. So everyone is on high alert and looking to bend you over first.
Really do not know or care. Just know I need to get things wrapped up around here and get the fūck out of this God forsaken town.

Oh yeah. Forgot to give vjoke a dishonorable mention.
 

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Retired citizen
Joined
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22,886 Posts
I know it has been mentioned here before.

Have always tried to never hate anyone. Be it animal, vegetable, or mineral.
Individual, or group.
Was not raised that way. IMO, hate is a harmful gut eating emotion. More so for the hater then the hated.

However. There are always exceptions.
While I have not quit worked up to the big "H". I am quickly developing an extreme "dislike" for lawyers. Most used car salesmen. And 1 an x-wife in particular .

Maybe it is the environment. Residential vs. rural.
Big city folk always looking to get over on someone else. So everyone is on high alert and looking to bend you over first.
Really do not know or care. Just know I need to get things wrapped up around here and get the fūck out of this God forsaken town.

Oh yeah. Forgot to give vjoke a dishonorable mention.
#me too !
 

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Registered
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38,106 Posts
I just want a space big enough to have a workshop with a lathe, mill, and room enough to work on my bike or car.

Oh yeah, and room enough for a range right out my back door....

Something like what Dragonman in Colorado Springs has should do.
 

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Noel
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8,116 Posts
X3, though I don't have an EX, some of my close friends have them and I empathize.
 

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weird member
Joined
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2,168 Posts
Facts are facts, either something did or did not happen, and sometimes you have no proof to back up facts. He-said/she-said, need a professional level argue-er. Same thing for figuring out what's "fair". Sometimes, facts is facts and there is proof and someone did what they did, so now they need a professional argue-er and liar to downplay what they did or find loopholes and technicalities to weasle them out. That's what I don't like about the profession of lawyer-ing.

Haven't met many lawyers, only knew one but he was more just an attorney that specialized in drafting law, was an OK guy I guess.

But lawyer-ing and being a salesman of any kind but especially of vehicles, necessitates at minimum, not being entirely forthcoming with stuff, if not outright lying just to be able to "win" in order to collect a commission, because if you lose too much, you then don't have a job, or don't make very much.

I couldn't ever do either, I can't force myself to be sleezy and dishonest enough to do it. I can tell a lie or two or hold stuff back if it means keeping the peace or making a situation easier as long as it's not screwing someone over in the process, but not for cheating people out of something or overselling.
 

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Wayward Son
Joined
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23,216 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I guess I had been lucky when dealing with lawyers.....until now.
Plenty of pro bono advice.
Even reduced or refunded fees.

X-wives? Have not spoken to one in over 30 years. Has not harassed me at all.
Another one has always been more then decent the times we have crossed paths.

The most current is the PITA.
The divorce has been final for around 2+ years now.
She is entitled to a small % of a pension I am due from almost a quarter of a century at the company. In the decree it states she is to have filled out and file a QDRO. It will show the amount she is entitled to.
Since she has not followed through, and I want to start drawing it, the expense falls on me.
If I just start drawing my pension without filing the QDRO, I can be held in contempt.
We are talking $500 just for the filling of it. Not to mention filing fee(s) and any related Attorney's fees.

In all this, I still need a vehicle. That is where my mentioning used car salesmen comes in.
Have been without a vehicle since wrecking my old Cav. (See related thread elsewhere).
In an attempt to minimize exposure to myself, by proxy to my landlord, who is also my chauffeur for now. I have been doing a lot of online browsing and contacting by email.
No way are any getting my phone # yet.
But I swear they are still stuck in the pre COVID19 mentality.
Getting info on a particular vehicle is like pulling hens teeth. They want you on the lot. Consequences be damned.
Have already told two off. And sent email complaints to three used car managers.
I am quickly running out of local dealerships.
 

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weird member
Joined
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2,168 Posts
The salesmen want you on the lot so they can try to pressure you in an up-sell.

Like ex-girlfriends in the past that I broke up with them through text or phone call precisely because I didn't want to deal with them making a scene, refused to accept the break-up unless I did it to their face... at which point they would make a scene and be a mixture of sad, angry and psycho all at once and beg for it to not be over (as if that would make anyone with half a brain want to stay, AKA "this crap right here is exactly why I am breaking up"). I guess they think "if you see how much you hurt me, you wouldn't want to leave me" or something?

Salesman probably the same way, they can't Gish gallop fast talk you, or try to read you to get at those feelings through e-mails, or weak-willed falling for their own natural "oh, that one looks shiny!" mentality or rely on pressures (peer pressure, woe is me, etc). Kind of like that episode of "King of the Hill" where they Cotton got himself, Bill and Hank roped in on a pitch for timeshare properties in Mexico.

Anyway, good luck with all that mess, sounds like a nightmare. Also kind of messed up that she is entitled to something, so she was supposed to fill something out, but because she didn't, you get punished for it if you don't fill it out on her behalf at your own expense. What kind of legalistic bs is that?
 

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Registered
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10,668 Posts
Not many products are as competitive as vehicle sales, especially used vehicles. Cars, trucks, bikes, boats, all seem to fall into the same category and all the salespeople seem to have the same mindset and want to play the same games. Numerous times I have been just "window shopping" used bikes on a dealer's website and see a bike listed that I'm not really in the market for but am curious about the price so, per the ad, I "call for a quote" cause they don't list a price. Yeah, they won't give you a straight answer over the phone. Want you to meet with a sales rep. No thanks, I don't want a lot of BS just a price. And if you get them to quote a figure over the phone it will sound good. But, meet with them, and the good sounding price goes up in smoke after they start disclosing all the various fees. BS.

Unless I was wanting to buy a brand new bike or cage with warranty, so forth and so on, and that ain't likely to ever be the case again, I would be shopping Craigslist and other venues for a used but not abused later model. If a purchase is going to need to be financed, and if your credit is in reasonably good shape, you should be able to find out from your bank or credit union ahead of time how much they may be willing to lend you--of course until you give them a specific model they can't "run the numbers" for sure but, still, they should be able to give you an idea of how much you might be able to finance.
 

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Registered
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1,556 Posts
I guess I had been lucky when dealing with lawyers.....until now.
Plenty of pro bono advice.
Even reduced or refunded fees.

X-wives? Have not spoken to one in over 30 years. Has not harassed me at all.
Another one has always been more then decent the times we have crossed paths.

The most current is the PITA.
The divorce has been final for around 2+ years now.
She is entitled to a small % of a pension I am due from almost a quarter of a century at the company. In the decree it states she is to have filled out and file a QDRO. It will show the amount she is entitled to.
Since she has not followed through, and I want to start drawing it, the expense falls on me.
If I just start drawing my pension without filing the QDRO, I can be held in contempt.
We are talking $500 just for the filling of it. Not to mention filing fee(s) and any related Attorney's fees.

In all this, I still need a vehicle. That is where my mentioning used car salesmen comes in.
Have been without a vehicle since wrecking my old Cav. (See related thread elsewhere).
In an attempt to minimize exposure to myself, by proxy to my landlord, who is also my chauffeur for now. I have been doing a lot of online browsing and contacting by email.
No way are any getting my phone # yet.
But I swear they are still stuck in the pre COVID19 mentality.
Getting info on a particular vehicle is like pulling hens teeth. They want you on the lot. Consequences be damned.
Have already told two off. And sent email complaints to three used car managers.
I am quickly running out of local dealerships.
First off, I'm not a lawyer so take any advice with the appropriate "he doesn't know what he is talking about" bias.

If she is responsible for the QDRO, then don't do it for her. If you know how much she is supposed to get put it into an escrow type account. Send her a certified delivery letter stating that she will get nothing until she complies with the decree at which time she will get what is due her, so to speak. At least your butt will be covered and it's on her to comply.
 

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Wayward Son
Joined
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23,216 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
The escrow plan was considered, then discarded.
The math formula to calculate the amount she is entitled(?) to is unknown to me. But from what I am aware of, well beyond my brain matters ability to comprehend.
A whole industry has sprung up dedicated to the filling out of these forms.
If I knew/could figure it out myself I would. That would save be everything but the filing fee.
If I were to proceed drawing my pension, even with setting aside an amount for her, I could very well be looking at a contempt of court charge.
While she sets back now, totally legally. Not getting a penny. But denying me my dime.
The monthly pension would cover my expenses within two to three months.
But in the mean time I need a vehicle. Have been house shopping.
All the while T~S sets gathering dust in a Friends storage locker back in my hometown.
 

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Noel
Joined
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8,116 Posts
Shizzy situation now doubt about it, there has got to be a way to force her cooperation, the obstinance is impacting your wellbeing and financial stability, she has ZERO right to do that.

It might take a couple of letters from you via the lawyer and a summons from the judge for her to default in contempt for not facilitating the finalization of affairs between you and her.

I'd venture a threat to cut her out completely if she does not get busy will indeed get her to move.

Then you, she and the judge can finalize the initial value or arbitrate any disagreements about that number.
 

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Wayward Son
Joined
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23,216 Posts
Discussion Starter #16
It might take a couple of letters from you via the lawyer and a summons from the judge for her to default in contempt for not facilitating the finalization of affairs between you and her.

I'd venture a threat to cut her out completely if she does not get busy will indeed get her to move.

Then you, she and the judge can finalize the initial value or arbitrate any disagreements about that number.
There is a procedure to figure it out.
The amount is pretty much set in stone. Not up for debate by her or I.
That is fine by me. She is entitled only to a % of it. And that is based solely on the time we were married prior to my leaving the company. Approximately seven out of twenty-five years on the job.
Her amount is minimal by comparison to my %. I believe that is, at least in part, why she never followed through.
She is on total disability. But was lead to believe that an increase in income will not affect that. So that would be a non issue. Would think more of a motivation as her disability is minimal and last I knew, only source of income.
 

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Wayward Son
Joined
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23,216 Posts
Discussion Starter #17
Look on youtube......it's not just for motorcycle repair.......

Will have a look at that. Also found a investment site that offers a printable QDRO, there is not a universal QDRO form.
They walk you through it as well.
Looks like tomorrow will be headache time trying to figure it all out.
Thanks.
 

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Registered
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820 Posts
I guess I had been lucky when dealing with lawyers.....until now.
Plenty of pro bono advice.
Even reduced or refunded fees.

X-wives? Have not spoken to one in over 30 years. Has not harassed me at all.
Another one has always been more then decent the times we have crossed paths.

The most current is the PITA.
The divorce has been final for around 2+ years now.
She is entitled to a small % of a pension I am due from almost a quarter of a century at the company. In the decree it states she is to have filled out and file a QDRO. It will show the amount she is entitled to.
Since she has not followed through, and I want to start drawing it, the expense falls on me.
If I just start drawing my pension without filing the QDRO, I can be held in contempt.
We are talking $500 just for the filling of it. Not to mention filing fee(s) and any related Attorney's fees.

In all this, I still need a vehicle. That is where my mentioning used car salesmen comes in.
Have been without a vehicle since wrecking my old Cav. (See related thread elsewhere).
In an attempt to minimize exposure to myself, by proxy to my landlord, who is also my chauffeur for now. I have been doing a lot of online browsing and contacting by email.
No way are any getting my phone # yet.
But I swear they are still stuck in the pre COVID19 mentality.
Getting info on a particular vehicle is like pulling hens teeth. They want you on the lot. Consequences be damned.
Have already told two off. And sent email complaints to three used car managers.
I am quickly running out of local dealerships.
Hey Thunder, I know that i'm the "new kid on the block" so to speak. If i am out of my realm, please say so and i will comply.

Here's a bit of what i learned form my last couple car purchases: If you pay cash or a one type payment on even a used car at a dealer lot. It is reported by law to the IRS and it flags you for an audit. (This is the new way to find street dealers). Some car dealers will not accept a cash sales because of this. A Honda car dealer actually escorted us to the bank on a insurance cashiers check! Due to totaling the car.

If you plan on financing anyway, then the easiest way is to get a pre-approval. That way you and the sales people know exactly where your at. This puts to rest much of the up-sales and cuts to the chase. (Although some may try to get you to finance through them or, their finance agency) That pre-qualified loan program also makes it easy to shop private sales!

On the other topic of ex-wife(s): I got nothing. I got very lucky by having the easiest divorce ever! She and i get along just fine, so long as we are NOT married to each other! But we were to young back then. She's gave up on the marriage idea after she divorced number four. I have re-married once and still together (37 years next July).
Best of luck to you on this adventure!
 

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There is a procedure to figure it out.
The amount is pretty much set in stone. Not up for debate by her or I.
That is fine by me. She is entitled only to a % of it. And that is based solely on the time we were married prior to my leaving the company. Approximately seven out of twenty-five years on the job.
Her amount is minimal by comparison to my %. I believe that is, at least in part, why she never followed through.
She is on total disability. But was lead to believe that an increase in income will not affect that. So that would be a non issue. Would think more of a motivation as her disability is minimal and last I knew, only source of income.
TS, do you know what type her "total disability" is? It might be through some employer and, as such, the policy could be much different and could contain all kinds of provisions,conditions, rules, so forth and so on. But...., is she on SSI, which is Supplemental Security Income and you apply for that through the Social Security Administration (SSA)? Or, if she has some work history and the SSA determines her totally and permanently disabled she might qualify for SSDI, which is Social Security Disability Insurance.

If she is on SSI, the maximum monthly payment amount is currently $735 and ANY OTHER INCOME she may have, either earned income or unearned income, will be deducted out of the $735 SSI maximum amount. For example, an individual who would otherwise receive $735 monthly SSI income but who has $200 monthly income from another source (alimony, structured payout, etc.) would only receive $535 monthly SSI. And the SSA also counts some types of "In kind" income if someone else pays some expenses on behalf of the SSI individual.

If she is on SSDI there is a limit on any earnings she might have but they DO NOT COUNT any type of unearned income against the SSDI amount she may qualify for--based on her earnings for the 10 years immediately prior to her SSDI application.

Don't know what to tell you, just trying to maybe explain some of it for you.
 

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old scoot coot
Joined
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3,334 Posts
#me too !
I know it has been mentioned here before.

Have always tried to never hate anyone. Be it animal, vegetable, or mineral.
Individual, or group.
Was not raised that way. IMO, hate is a harmful gut eating emotion. More so for the hater then the hated.

However. There are always exceptions.
While I have not quit worked up to the big "H". I am quickly developing an extreme "dislike" for lawyers. Most used car salesmen. And 1 x-wife in particular .

Maybe it is the environment. Residential vs. rural.
Big city folk always looking to get over on someone else. So everyone is on high alert and looking to bend you over first.
Really do not know or care. Just know I need to get things wrapped up around here and get the fūck out of this God forsaken town.

Oh yeah. Forgot to give vjoke a dishonorable mention.
you know what you do when you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in the sand at the bottom of the sea? ya get some more lawers! just kidding tim one of my good friends is a lawyer so i know you've heard them all and we love you and your bride.
 
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