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Discussion Starter #1
First off let me start by wishing all dads "Happy Fathers Day". Now on to my story. There is a bar near my place of employment that is the default send off bar for those leaving our company. Such was the case last Friday. I went there, had two beers, Told my embarrassing (for the departing employee) story and payed my tab. That is where the rub came in. My tab was $5.25 and I gave her a $10.00. I was going to tell her to keep the change when she returned. She never returned with my change. She came to our table about a dozen times without my change so I got her attention and asked her if she had a chance to get my change. She looked at me with this "oh shut" look in her eyes and said "I'm sorry. I thought you...." She then went and got me my change plus 25 cents. She apologized again and went on with her work. I left $3.00 on the table and departed. A couple of people I work with saw the exchange between the waitress and I. I was in no mood to explain. I just threw the $3.00 on the table and left.

So my questions are "Am I the :asshat here? Did she have the justification to give herself a $4.75 tip on a $5.25 tab or should she have brought back my change and let me decide how much (if any) of a tip I would leave? And finaly. Am I making a moutain out of a mole hill?

Opinions are welcome.
 

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Indian Larry
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She should have brought your change. The tip is your way of showing appreciation. She shouldn't assume you're going to give her anything. I think you were pretty nice to leave the three dollars!!
 

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That pisses me off also. Now if she'd been rubbing your crotch or shoving her teats in your face "maybe" she could assume.

I will agree that waitresses deserve a tip. They provide a service and the base wage is very low, good ones in the right bar etc. can make a damned good living.

I start out at 20% for a tip and adjust down to match the service. Rarely do they get more than 18% or less than 10% but I have on occasion left a nickle just so they'd know I didn't forget.
 

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Mississippi Cajun
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Agree. She should never assume she is entitled to your money until you personally give it to her.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
She should have brought your change. The tip is your way of showing appreciation. She shouldn't assume you're going to give her anything. I think you were pretty nice to leave the three dollars!!
Pipe that's what I was raised to believe. I live a fair distance form my work. The local bars in my area all bring change back either on a tab or a pay as you go. Guess I'm just spoiled. I'll tip 20% at a sit down Restaurant and a little more at a bar. I've found that it's worth it as I have never died of thurst at any bar I've been to.
 

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Funny you posted this fatboy, you did nothing wrong, Though I think nowadays it is expected and taken for granted by folks to get a tip??? I don't believe in it but I might be an azz???

Today wife and I go out to a BBQ joint we didn't want to drive very far so we went to a place closer to home(favorite place is a ways away)

Anyway they were slow and not to many people in there eating, half dozen at the bar.

This place has about four rooms and we were in one room all by ourselves, first off I felt like I was gettin" rushed and then the gal came in and turned off the T.V when it was clear I was watching the news???

After eating tough and flavorless ribs and drinkin" a beer, I paid, I was only gonna leave a five dollar tip, Wife didn't want me to leave any,

But gal took my money and never came back and I waited for a while and some young guy(high school age) brought me my receipt? I asked for my change and he tracked girl down and I could tell there was some kind of commotion and he came back and said they thought it was a tip!!!

That would have been $16.85 cent tip, I wasn't there long and felt like they rushed me even though they weren't busy.

I didn't leave nothing and I will not go back no matter what....I wouldn't go back anyway food and service sucked!!!!:moonBart
 

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Gypsy on Parade
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Fack that sh!t. Even the wait staff feels entitled these days. Who facking cares how much my tab was or what percentage I should pay? I tip based on service. Was it 10%, or 17%? I dunno...maybe you should service me better in the future.

Most of my tips exceed the customary "17%" bullshit, but who made that rule up? It was 10% when I was younger. More and more people getting entitled. You want my hard earned money? Work for it! Show me service above what is expected. Give me what is expected, then you're doing your job (the job you're PAID to do). Go above , be friendly, rub my crotch...now you're gonna make some money!

:2cents (my tip).
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Funny you posted this fatboy, you did nothing wrong, Though I think nowadays it is expected and taken for granted by folks to get a tip??? I don't believe in it but I might be an azz???

Today wife and I go out to a BBQ joint we didn't want to drive very far so we went to a place closer to home(favorite place is a ways away)

Anyway they were slow and not to many people in there eating, half dozen at the bar.

This place has about four rooms and we were in one room all by ourselves, first off I felt like I was gettin" rushed and then the gal came in and turned off the T.V when it was clear I was watching the news???

After eating tough and flavorless ribs and drinkin" a beer, I paid, I was only gonna leave a five dollar tip, Wife didn't want me to leave any,

But gal took my money and never came back and I waited for a while and some young guy(high school age) brought me my receipt? I asked for my change and he tracked girl down and I could tell there was some kind of commotion and he came back and said they thought it was a tip!!!

That would have been $16.85 cent tip, I wasn't there long and felt like they rushed me even though they weren't busy.

I didn't leave nothing and I will not go back no matter what....I wouldn't go back anyway food and service sucked!!!!:moonBart
I'de have done the same. It used to be that leaving a penny was considered an insult. In this day and age I doubt that they would have gotten that. Where I work is an affluent area. Where I live is mostly farmers, blue collar, military and Amish. It seems to me that people who work hard for there daily bread tend to instill better values into there kids then those who can buy there darlings a new Mercedes or beamer with there pocket change. Sorry for the rant.
 

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Try'n to behave
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I could see something like that happening if it were $0.75 (like after buying a beer or something). Generally speaking, if I want them to keep the change, I will tell them when I am paying otherwise I expect to get my change back.

You could sit there without saying a word except "can I have another free refill on my Coke", taking up their table space and costing them money until your change was brought.

I have to agree with pretty much everything that has been said so far, especially about the "entitled" parts. It's MY money, if you want some of it you have to EARN it, just like I did. I know it's an urban legend, but I was always told TIPS stands for "To Insure Prompt Service" and was paid before hand so that you were guaranteed to receive good service. Now it's come to mean "Supplemental Income.
 

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These days, anyone who takes a job waiting tables does so for the potential tips--not for the hourly wage ($2.35 or so?). So, anyone taking the job should realize up front a lot of their income depends on them providing good service. This is a fact of life we have all come to accept. But it has gotten out of hand. These days EVERYONE who does ANYTHING for you expects a tip. At a nearby restaurant that we frequently call in take out orders to I always ask the exact tab over the phone. When I go in to pick up the little cutie with boobs pushed up and almost flowing out of her top who is at the desk NEVER has any change and will ask "Do you want me to get you your change?" Duh! Dang right I do cause all you did was hand me the sack and take my money and you didn't earn no stinking tip. But I always hand her the exact amount.

Everyone has their hand out these days. During the Christmas season I will find an el cheapo card in with my newspaper one morning and it will say "Merry Xmas from Adam XXXXXXX, your carrier for 22 years". My wife is against me putting a card out for him that says "Merry Xmas from your customer who has always paid your bill promptly for 22 years." And even the garbage tippers will leave a card somewhere.

I have accepted the fact that waitresses don't make squat and are dependent on tips so I tip reasonably well--dependent on the quality of service, mind you, but most of the other folks better be making it on their salary or finding better jobs.

But I'm even rethinking tips for waitresses after reading a local article not long ago about a local eatery that was doing a good business but closed up unexpectedly--one of the servers remarked that he had been making $50K per year there.
 

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Was Briefly First
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Okay, so a little reality check might be in order here. I tended bar for years. Servers get paid dirt. Less than minimum wage, by a lot. The tips are part of their income. It's not just them feeling entitled. So, for all of you thinking you're going above and beyond by leaving anything at all, you aren't. That person is getting paid like $4 an hour by the restaurant, there's a specific carve out from minimum wage laws for tipped positions. Now, I am not suggesting leaving huge tips for crappy service, far from it. But just remember that their take home salary is computed assuming they are getting 15% of their total sales in tips, and they're taxed that way. So if you leave less than 15%, your server is being taxed on income they never got. Just keep that in mind.

As to the OP, one thing to consider, and I'm not saying this is what happened, but very often people will hand over the check with cash in it and say something to the effect of, "this is all set." Which typically means, "keep the change." So, it's possible you said something that she took that way. Now, it's customary for her to have brought you the change back anyway, but I'm just saying she might have genuinely misunderstood your intent and wasn't just being a snot.

Lastly, for everyone reading, know that if you frequent a particular place relatively often, the service staff will all know whether you're a big tipper or not. If you are, you'll generally get much better service (which can often include free drinks and "over-pours" at bars), if you're not, well... Just how the trade works.
 

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There is a local pub and eatery here that will always bring you your change, even if you tell the server to keep it. They must of had issues like this in the past, and the ownership has asked them to do it.

I don't do barhopping very much at all, and when I am in a restaurant it is typically all five of us. So my restaurant bill is usually in the $60-$100 range. I almost always pay with my debit card. So I don't have these issues.


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Flat Land Redneck
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At one time I owned a restaurant in Flo. and ran a 450 seat lounge in Myrtle Beach. So I know how important tips are to waitress/waiter's. I agree if I wanted them to keep the change I would tell them when I paid them. As for what percent to tip, I tip on service. It doesn't take any more effort to bring me a steak than it does a hamburger.:)
 

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Harley Rider
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Tips should never be assumed especially one for almost 50%. Maybe she just did bad math in her head or something. Once is a mistake, twice is a trend and I don't do trends. Maybe she deserves a second chance.
 

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She should def have brought back your change it's upto the customer as to how much of a tip to leave, not the waiter Considering what she did you were generous, don't over think about it.


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Fat Guy on the Ultra
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Your in the right. She should have got your change and you then decide how much of a tip. I ussually try to leave 15-20%. Depending on service. But have been know to leave a dollar under a full glass of water turned up side down. Thats only because I had to ask a girl at cracker barrel 3 times for biscuits and finally got them after everyone was done eating, and she asked, " who needed biscuits?" And I told her too late, were done eating she then said in a very smart a tone," well im sorry we got busy." So yeh it didnt seet well with me...

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Mississippi Cajun
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With regard to using credit/debit cards: I used to get the old style card and write "CASH" in the blank that said tip or gratuity. Then I'd leave an appropriate cash tip. Then this trend started with the little sliver of cash register receipt paper with everything already figured in that you sign. I was with a group and one of the guys volunteered to pick up the tab. It came with the tip included. He asked that they redo it sans the tip which he would pay in cash. Well, wouldn't you know that when the bill came to his house, both charges were on the statement. It took some amount of time and cussing to get that straight.
One other thing I have difficulty understanding is buffets. You go in, pay for your food in advance, serve yourself, and then are expected to leave a tip for the waitress who you may or may not see during your meal, and at best, you might get your water glass refilled. How much is that supposed to be worth?
 

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She should have brought you your change and let you decide how much of it she gets as a tip.

I don't like it when I go to restaurant and give them a $20 for an $11 meal and they ask if I need change. No, I always tip the "customary" 90%. I tend to tip pretty well, but pull that on me and I deduct $1.
 
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